When Our Phones Get in the Way: What Research Says About Parent Cell-Phone Use and Children’s Well-Being
Smartphones are woven into nearly every part of daily life such as work, communication, parenting, and even brief moments of rest. For many parents, the phone is both a support and a stressor. Emerging research over the past several years is raising important questions about what happens when frequent phone use starts to interrupt our connection with our children.
Researchers refer to this as “technoference” which is the everyday disruptions in parent-child interactions caused by digital devices. And while this doesn’t mean phones are “bad” or that checking your messages makes you a bad parent, the growing body of research suggests something important: children notice when we’re distracted, and it can affect how they feel and behave (McDaniel & Coyne, 2017).
What the Studies Are Showing
Multiple peer-reviewed studies, including longitudinal data and child self-reports, indicate meaningful links between parent phone use and children’s emotional and behavioral experiences.
A 2018 longitudinal study on technoference found that when parents frequently shifted attention from their child to their device, children were more likely to show both internalizing behaviors (such as anxiety or sadness) and externalizing behaviors (such as frustration or acting out) (McDaniel & Radesky, 2018).
More recent work from 2025 shows that when parents used smartphones during conversations, children tended to feel more anger, sadness, and a sense of “giving up” on trying to get parental attention and these emotional reactions were linked to lower overall well-being (Yang et al., 2025). Additional research connects parent device distraction to challenges in learning, executive functioning, and even early bonding experiences, highlighting that the disruption in relational connection, not the phone itself, is what matters most (Stockdale et al., 2023; Radesky et al., 2025).
Why This Matters for Kids
Children rely on co-regulation, attunement, and responsive communication in order to build their social and emotional skills. When a parent’s attention is frequently diverted, children may interpret it as:
“I’m not important right now.”
“I’m bothering you.”
“I need to get louder or quieter to be noticed.”
Over time, these patterns can influence behavioral responses, mood, and self-esteem. The impact is often subtle, not a single moment, but an accumulation of many micro-moments (McDaniel & Coyne, 2017).
A Compassionate, Realistic Approach
To be clear, this is not about guilting or shaming parents. Every parent checks their phone. Every parent gets distracted. Modern life, unfortunately, demands it.
The goal isn’t to eliminate phone use because that is simply not possible. The goal is to create intentional pockets of presence that help children feel seen and supported.
A few small, research-backed shifts include:
Phone-free transitions: first 5 minutes after school, first 10 minutes after waking, or during tuck-in.
Tech-free connection rituals: mealtimes, car rides, or bedtime conversations.
Narrating your use: “I’m finishing this message so I can give you my full attention.”
Repairing when needed: “I realized I was distracted earlier. I want to hear what you were saying.”
These adjustments not only support children but strengthen parents’ sense of connection and reduce stress in the long run.
The Takeaway
The research on technoference continues to develop, but the message is consistent: our presence matters more than ever, and children feel the difference. When we intentionally carve out even small moments of uninterrupted connection, we reinforce safety, emotional resilience, and secure attachment.
And importantly… it’s never too late to begin building these habits.
References
McDaniel, B. T., & Coyne, S. (2017). Technology interference in parenting: Associations with child behavior. Psychology of Popular Media Culture.
McDaniel, B. T., & Radesky, J. (2018). Technoference: Longitudinal associations between parent technology use and child behavior. Developmental Science.
Yang, X., et al. (2025). Effects of Parents' Smartphone Use on Children’s Emotions, Behavior, and Subjective Well-Being. Children.
Stockdale, L., et al. (2023). Parental problematic smartphone use and children’s executive function difficulties. Journal of Applied Developmental Psychology.
Radesky, J., et al. (2025). Technoference in parenting: Parental smartphone use affects infants’ object learning. Infant Behavior & Development.
